Hey folks.Sorry I haven’t been posting for the last few months–been trying to focus on the book of poems I’m finishing, and other writing drains my available daily writing energy.
Today I write because I need some help. My scrips for hormones and antidepressants are about to run out. Most of the doctors and clinics I’ve researched are either too expensive to pay out of pocket (no health insurance, Obamacare is too expensive, basically unemployed yatta yatta) or won’t take on uninsured patients.
I can be all “This is bullshit!” and “Fuck the capitalist patriarchy machine!” and “You are not the authority over my body!” and “Why isn’t there some over the counter remedy for this yet!” and “Fuck the gatekeeper medical establishment!” And I have been like that, but right now I need resources and solutions.
If I don’t get my hormones renewed, my neato gender dysphoria will kick back in. I often say things like “It’s a big future out there” and “No worries, things can change” and “Who am I to shut down possibility?” but based on past experiences, if I don’t have these goddam chemicals in my blood, things will get bad, and fast. That’s a euphemism for saying something like “I’ll get really, persistently depressed and suicidal again, and I’ll risk getting overwhelmed by my body’s wrack to the point that I won’t be able to function as a social creature or a semi-responsible adult.” Mental health don’t fuck around. Not fun to think about, but that’s reality: not a cakewalk, not a barn door, not a placid day at the beach.
Be well. Fuck the capitalist patriarchy machine.